Yes, it's 90 degrees outside at the end of September. Yes, it is unusually hot. Yes, I'm ready for cooler weather too.
Glad we got that out of the way. It's no secret it's hot outside. Even if you never left AC to know this, you would know just by the sheer number of people talking about it. In fact, it seems like it's all anyone is talking about lately. And don't get me wrong, I want to drink coffee, wear a sweater and boots, and bundle up by a bonfire as much as the next person, but I really think we need to find something new to talk about. Sitting here, eating a biscuit with some apple butter I just got at the apple orchard, drinking some hot tea thinking about... how much I complain. Why is it that we can never be happy? Things could be going 99% right in our lives, and we would still fixate on that 1% that's wrong. And hey, guilty as charged. I am the queen of this. But I don't want to be. When I pictured how this year would go for me, it was a little different than the way it looks right now. And I can stop there. I can think about this for days, weeks, even. And I can feel sorry for myself because I didn't get everything that I want. Or I can sit here and say, yeah, maybe not everything in my life is perfect, but overall, things are looking pretty good. I'm making good connections, I'm doing well in my classes, I'm getting to experience things I never thought I would. I got to go home this weekend to see my family, and my heart jumped for joy. I had been counting down the days, at times unable to sleep out of excitement. To say I can get a bit homesick would be an understatement. And I get home, and I'm picking apples, one of my favorite activities in the world, and suddenly I am overcome by sadness. Because I have to leave again. I got to see one of my best friends and have a great time with her, but saying goodbye was so hard it almost made me forget how happy I just was. All of this to say, sometimes our complaints are valid. Sometimes our hearts ache. Sometimes we feel a little hopeless, or overwhelmed, or alone. That's real. That's so so real. The problem becomes when we fixate on it. Whether it be how much you're ready for a cool breeze or how much your soul longs for something you can't have quite yet - we are letting what we don't have take away our attention from all that we do have and rob us of our joy. And it's time we put an end to it. So, I invite you to enter a season of gratitude with me. I wish I could say I knew just how to do this. I wish I could say it's simple. But I don't and it's not. And I definitely can't tell you what your season of gratitude looks like, I don't know your heart - only you can figure that out. And I'll figure mine out. What tends to rob me of my joy is the fact that I have some trouble being patient with God. When I want something I want it now, and I need it now, and if I don't get it now then we are going to have some trouble. But that's not how God works. Sometimes he says wait. Always he says, "Trust Me." "And we know that in all ways God works for the good of those who love Him." Romans 8:28 Empowered by this truth, I am entering my season of gratitude full of trust. And I am going to show it by keeping a log of all the things I am grateful for - one a day. Today, it's the fact that I have a family and home to miss. How will you enter your season of gratitude? What will it look like for you? We have 3 months exactly until Christmas, let's teach our hearts to wake with gratefulness and fall asleep with hope. Let's cultivate a culture of gratitude.
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The thing about following your dreams is, sometimes you have to leave people behind. Sitting here, I can't even count on two hands the number of people I love I live so far away from. I have great friends in over 5 states, more than three countries, and my family lives about 600 miles away (granted, this is definitely an upgrade from last year's number of 1900 miles, but still). I knew I'd be leaving family and friends when I chose to do AmeriCorps in Los Angeles, and again when I got accepted to school in Atlanta. What I didn't know, however, was that in LA I would meet the most wonderful guy, spend months exploring, watching movies, and laughing with him, start a relationship with him... and then leave him.
Don't get me wrong, my heart and soul ache for the distance between me and my friends and my family. But there's something about long distance relationships that is its own kind of difficult. Not in a million years did I think this is what my life would be like at this point. I wasn't looking for it, but that's the funny thing about when life gives us the greatest things, right? It's always when we're not looking for them. Long distance relationships are a lot of things, as anyone who has been in one can tell you. They're lots of lonely movie nights. They're days exploring wishing you could share it with the other person. They're looking for people to grab dinner with, or go to a movie with, because your everyday-things partner is so far away. They're sitting on the phone in silence because you don't know what to talk about, but you don't want to hang up. They're a lot of finding out who you are when you're alone, even though you aren't. But they're not all bad. They're also laughs and long phone calls. They're quick "just thinking about you" texts at your most stressful times of the day. They're learning to appreciate the time you have with one another. They're learning how to love on a deeper level, because your partner isn't there to hug or tease, or share your french fries with. (On that note, they're also not having to share your food so that aint so bad). When I was faced with the decision on if I wanted to continue the new relationship from 2200 miles away, I thought, what a crazy idea. I thought, how will that work? I thought, wow, how lonely that sounds. But... I also thought, if you don't love someone enough to love them when you can't be together... do you really love them at all? And I have no regrets. Being in a long distance relationship is finding what works for you and your partner. It's making time for eachother when you're living separate lives. It's day dreaming and missing eachother. It's forming a connection unlike any other. It's counting down the days until you can be together. It's fighting for someone you love. It's learning to put yourself to the side, and love the other person the best you can. It's your chace to not miss out on the person that belongs in your life. It's its own special adventure. And I'm thankful to have found someone to share this adventure with. I moved to Atlanta about a month ago to begin my journey in graduate school. Except my grandmother, who is graciously letting me live with her, I didn't know a soul. Fast forward a few weeks, I've made some friends. Well, a couple friends, but hey that's better than none! They're in graduate school with me, and honestly I am beyond thankful to have found them. That's for a couple of reasons - for one, it's nice to have people to explore with. And for two, to be honest, they make my crazy seem, well, a little less crazy.
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AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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