I don't want to lose faith in humanity. I really don't.
I sit and I watch the news and it feels hopeless sometimes. It feels like we can't win. It feels like we fight and we fight and nothing ever comes of it. And I get angry. And I get frustrated. And I get sad. There are things that happen that I don't understand. There are perspectives and attitudes that are so abstract to me that I cannot even fathom how they exist. There are beliefs that are so far from mine that it overwhelms me to even try to comprehend. If it's not one thing, it's another. But this post isn't to complain. It isn't about the world sucking, or how hopeless things are, or even a call to action. It's about people. This morning I was watching the news, getting the updates on confirmations and nominations and my heart just sunk. I truly cannot believe some things happening in the world today, happening in our country. And I got so angry because there are people fighting for what is good and right everyday and nothing seems to be coming of it. Disheartened and angry, I made my way to the local coffee shop to get some work done. Sitting here, I am surrounded by people. There are people reading, others talking business, friends catching up over coffee, and it reminded me - there are good people everywhere. We may not see them. We may not hear about them. They may not get elected. But they exist. It's easy to lose hope in people, until you get to know the hearts of others around you. Your friends, strangers in the coffee shop, your colleagues - they'll surprise you. They're not the people arguing with your progressive posts on Facebook. They're the people who exist outside of politics, outside of business. They're the people living their lives, looking for joy, loving and serving others. As I am very politically outspoken, I am by no means sitting here condemning activism or opinions. But as person that can easily get wrapped up in the world of politics and what feels like the constant disappointment that comes from disagreements and endless fighting, I was reminded how important it is to see people for who they really are. I mean, to really see people. To see their hearts - their joys and sadness. Their passions and their heartbreaks. There is something so beautiful about people in a coffee shop, doing their own thing, at peace alone or with others. There is a whole world outside of the internet. There is a whole world outside of Washington DC. There are people who are looking for love and happiness, there are friends waiting to be made, and conversations waiting to be had. There are mountains waiting to be climbed, and coffee waiting to be consumed in copious amounts. There are laughs waiting to happen, and books waiting to be read. So let's not stop fighting for what is right. Let's not stop calling our senators and marching and sharing articles and engaging in dialogue. But let's also not forget about our neighbors who need a hug, or our moms who want a phone call, or our own souls that need to be nourished. It is important we do not lose sight of the world, and the many many good people in it. Your soul needs to rest. It's okay to not be angry all the time. It's okay to be happy, even when there are injustices in the world. It feels like we're losing now, but when we lose our faith and our hope and our joy - that is when they have really won. "...Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:9
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This morning I was brought to tears by the sunrise. Because two days ago I was in tears for a very different reason.
Two days ago I awoke with despair. Two days ago I cried because I felt hopeless. I felt ashamed. I felt saddened. And I felt scared. Two days ago I cried because I lost. That's how two days ago felt, like a personal loss. A friend described the loss of the election feeling like a death, and I cannot disagree. A death to my hope, to my persistence, to my faith in the people of this country. Two days ago I cried because my heart broke in pieces. I awoke two days ago speechless. And for those that know me, that's a rare occurrence. I had no words for the loss I was feeling, or the fear I know my friends of color are facing. I awoke with a heavy heart that I haven't been able to shake. Quickly my sadness morphed into anger. Anger towards people I know and people I don't. Anger towards the country as a whole and the fact that life is the way it is. And this anger has not been easily quieted. When I think about the racism that drove this election, I feel this anger. When I think of the offense so many have sufferred I feel this anger. When I think that even some of those I love can't see this, I feel this anger. This anger has decided it wants to stay. So I felt it. I felt it deeply. I felt it when I watched the news. I felt it when I got on social media. I felt it. I felt it with its cousin sadness, that likes to work its way in there in increments, resulting in tears I was not ready for. Yet, life must go on. And so I prayed. I prayed and I prayed and I continue to pray, because this anger cannot stay in my heart, not in the way it has been. I have prayed for strength, courage, and the ability to love through this anger. I have prayed for the ability and the opportunity to use my voice and make a change. And so this is my voice. This is me saying that I will not be silent in the face of oppression. I will not hide behind my privelige while my Latino and Black friends face fear and discrimination. I will not pretend I don't mind as my dignity as a woman is being torn away from me, while others lose respect for us because of our anatomy. I will not sit back and pretend that things are okay. And I will also continue to pray, because I know that the Lord God is my only source of hope. I know He has not forgotten us. And so I will wait on Him, and while I do, He makes me strong. He will heal my heart. He will heal this country. And I will be kinder than ever. I will not honk at drivers just because I am angry with them. I will not pretend to not see somebody because I am not in the mood to engage in conversation. Now, more than ever, we must work to make this world a lovely place. And I will think back to the beautiful sunrise I saw this morning, and know that this is not the end, that God is faithful even when all feels lost. I will remember His promise to never leave us nor forsake us, and I will trust Him. |
AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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