You call me a "snowflake" as you laugh at my "safe space."
You write me off as a "bleeding heart," and scoff while you dismiss my empathy. I must not know about the real world because I am *whisper* a liberal. I must have no idea what it's really like out there. I must be childish. But you don't worry, I'll "grow out of it." You call me a snowflake. But I've been called worse. You call me a snowflake because I am delicate, unable to handle the hard realities of the world, though I spend my days with the oppressed. You say I am out of touch with reality, as I spend years of my life in an education dedicated to the lives of people - people who don't like me, or speak like me, or live like me... or you. Well I'm just spoiled, I suppose - so willing to raise taxes and spend more so others can have it. That just must be because I've never worked a day in my life, though my work days are long, and heavy. As I spend my days with those who cannot afford healthcare, learning their stories, their names, you call me entitled. As I spend my days loving people, children, adults, who face the burden of racism, sexism, classism, and all other forms of discrimination, you call me out of touch with reality. Born with a privelige I did not earn, I spend my days learning and serving those who have not been so fortunate - those with names, and families, and struggles I could never comprehend, and I wager that you could not either. Young, liberal - so intolerant. How dare I speak out against those who believe some lives are more valuable than others - shameful, really. How dare I not sit and listen to you tell me only some are worthy of healthcare, housing, and food. Go ahead, call us snowflakes. We don't mind - snowflakes, while beautiful individually, come together and make change. They shut things down. They cause trouble. They cannot be ignored. Snowflakes are powerful.
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I feel like I'm always praying for clarity. Whether it's my career, my relationships with others, or anything in between - I am constantly asking for clarity. Yet, it rarely comes. When I was a senior in college, closer to God than I had ever been, I was faced with a big decision. I was blessed enough to have two amazing possibilities in front of me, but had no idea which one to choose. So I made pro/con lists, I looked into costs, and I prayed and prayed and prayed. I did all these things in search of one thing: a clear answer. Which path do I choose God? What do I do? I would journal, I would pray, I would read my bible - just longing for God's answer. I needed a clear "choice 1" or "choice 2." I needed to be TOLD what to do. That clear answer never came. And here I am yet again - worrying about choices I do not yet have to face, just waiting for God to be straight with me. I pray consistently for clarity, and for courage to follow His lead once He does speak to me. Though I pray every day for this, I still wait. And I get discouraged, and overwhelmed. Can you not hear me, God? Why are you not answering me? I begin to try to make my choice on my own - feeling alone in my decision, the burden incredible. Upon reflection of my disappointment, something occurred to me: I expect God to act the way I want Him to, and get frustrated when He does not. But God...is God. He is not human, and he is certainly not my own personal clarity vending machine. No, His nature is so much greater than that. But God...is certainly not my own personal clarity vending machine. My God may not answer me in the format I wish of Him, but He always hears me, and He always answers. He answers in ways like, "In all ways God works for the good of those who love Him," (Romans 8:28) and "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:26). He answers in ways like, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34). His answer is ever the same. His answer is always, "trust me." Easier said than done, I know. So what do we do? Wait for things to just fall in our laps, complacent in our uncertaintly? Surely not. Instead, we do what we are instructed to. Instead of worrying about what we do not know what to do, we keep following God in the ways we do know - by praying, by serving, by loving. We let God direct our footsteps today, confident He will guide our path tomorrow - we keep our eyes "fixed on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith," (Hebrews 12:2). As Luke says, "Whoever is faithful in small things is also faithful in much." (Luke 16:10). His answer is ever the same. His answer is always, "trust me." We do this in faith, "being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus," (Philippians 1:6). And we know we can, because "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline," (2 Timothy 1:7). It's all we can do - trust God today to take care of tomorrow. Let God guide our steps today, constantly pursuing what is just and holy. Taking it one step at a time, if you will, knowing that God will be with us at each one. Our human nature struggles with this. We want to be in control, we want to know what's going to happen next - that's where our faith comes in. If it were easy, everyone would do it. As C.S. Lewis once said, “I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.” The Lord does not call us to a life of comfort, but of growth. And I am learning to accept this may be a season in which I grow, in which I surrender my desire to be in charge to the King that is, in which I realize that I cannot figure it out on my own, nor do I want to. This is my season of growth, and maybe it's yours as well. May we ever be in excited anticipation of what's to come, knowing the Lord will always be good to us. |
AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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