Let me set the scene for you: Run-walking through downtown, trying not to be late. Heels. Professional clothes. Temperature just warm enough to create that slight layer of sweat on skin, that slight "I've been outside" smell. Ready to sell just why I am the best candidate for the job.
PIctured above is a true story of my hot mess of a life, on my way to an interview for a dream internship. I've been applying to jobs for months. I've been getting rejected from jobs for months. There were days I would cry and cry, so disheartened. There were days I accepted the belief that I just wasn't good enough. But I had decided back in January that this would be the year I put myself out there and go for it. This would be the year, if nothing, I tried. So, I kept trying. And I kept failing. Until I didn't. Though my hands were clammy, my hair frizzy, and feet blistered, I went into that interview with my head held high and resume in hand. I went in ready to give it my all. I went in ready to show the very best version of myself. When I got the job, though, my confidence dropped. Suddenly, I was so sure I was going to fail. I was so sure I would disappoint them and myself. I was so sure that I was, in fact, not good enough. And then a few days ago I had to drive a big Uhaul van (something I never ever want to do again btw). As I was driving down the road, knuckles white from gripping the wheel do tightly, I kept saying to myself "visualize success." Because I knew that was the only way I could do it - picture what it looks like to succeed, then make that picture the reality. That stuck in my mind a while, and I got to thinking - there's no reason I can't do that with my internship as well. If I can drive a van full of stuff to the other side of town, I can pull off an internship. The message in my head soon shifted to: "I can. I will. I did." Picturing success. I can do this, so I will do this. And eventually, I did do this. I wrote this 3 sentence saying on a sticky note and posted it above my desk, ready to take on the project set before me. Every time I looked at my little note, the Lord kept whispering in my heart one verse: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) I was right. I can do this. But it is because He can do this. I was right, I will do this. But it is because He will do this. And I was right, eventually I will say I did do this, but it is because He has already done this. Throughout the bible, God reminds us that we are never alone. Though we often quote those inspiring words for friends who are heartbroken, or when our lives are a mess, they ring true on our good days too. The are true when we don't get what we want, and they are equally as true when we do. Those weeks I spent struggling, I was not alone. And just because that struggle is over now, that does not mean the Lord leaves. That's the beautiful thing - He is always with us. Not just when we fail, but when we succeed. He walks beside us, he goes before us and clears our path. (Isaiah 45:2) We can because He can. He has already overcome the world. He will not leave us to fight for ourselves. So whether you are at home crying into a box of tissues, or sitting around a kitchen table unsure how you're going to make ends meet, or you just got something wonderful and you're not quite sure if you can actually live up to expectations, remember, you are not alone. You are never alone. "To the very end of age," you are not alone. You can because He can. You will because He will. And One day, you'll say "I did," because He already has. So keep your head up. Keep fightin' the good fight. You've got this - because He's got this.
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AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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