Last week I asked God to show up. I asked Him to knock down the boxes I had put Him in. Every day those prayers have been answered.
For months I had been praying God into boxes. Imagine that - the Lord that created the universe, that counts the stars, that has known me since before I was born; He graciously let me try to put Him in boxes over and over again, and even more graciously (and sometimes painfully) tore them down. In this season of my life, I have looked to God every day. I start my mornings talking to Him, and seek His face throughout the entire day... and still my life was not working out the way I expected it to. "Why has God forgotten me?" is a question I asked more than once, completely discouraged and feeling more distant than ever from God. Only recently did I painfully realize that God had not forgotten me, instead, I'd forgotten Him. I asked, "God, please provide______" or "God, I really need______" or "God, Your will be done, but please let ______ be Your will." All along, I had forgotten His character, His promise, His love - I had forgotten that He has provided all I need because He is all I need; I had forgotten that His will is to love and bless me through His glory - making all things work together for my good. So when I asked God to provide *insert job - person - city - tangible item here*, I prayed Him into the box I thought was what I needed. When He didn't provide *job - person - city - tangible item*, suddenly my box wasn't filled, suddenly I assumed He had forgotten me, suddenly I assumed He was not listening to me, that He didn't care enough about me to give me what I "need" (see: want). But... those were all lies. Through grace, His word, fellowship with others, and the Holy Spirit, God showed me where I was wrong, reminded me of His beautiful promises that disputed all the lies Satan had been filling my head with to get me away from trusting God. My heart was changing... and suddenly so were my prayers. My prayers shifted from boxing God to asking Him to tear them down. Instead of telling God what I need, I accepted that He is all I need. Instead of asking for the plan I made to come to fruition, I asked for His to. Simply, every morning, I asked God to show up. Every morning I've asked Him to show up, He has. He has shown up for the people around me. He has shown up in my city. He has shown up in my life through provision. He has shown up in my life through removals. It's not that things in my life actually changed all that much - my perspective did. Once my perspective did, my life did. I was open to blessings I didn't expect, opportunities I never would have pursued. I was grateful for the small and big things happening that I wouldn't have noticed because they didn't fit in my boxes. I was understanding and flexible when the plans I made fell through - big plans and small plans. My heart changed from, "God you didn't get me what I want, I don't trust You anymore..." to "God, I don't understand, but I trust You." Through my days in big and small ways He showed me He's there, always. When my heart learned that, my life opened to joy and peace I hadn't been experiencing when I was expecting God to act the way I asked Him to. He hasn't let me down. Life has, people have, I have let myself down... but He keeps showing up, and I know He always will. "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of age." Matthew 28:20
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AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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