"Since we were children, we were taught the meaning of "no." As we got older, we started to understand the reason behind "no." We understood that, when we wanted something/to do something/to go somewhere and our parents said no, though it seemed unfair, it was for the better. Our parents said no when what we wanted would hurt us, or put us in an unsafe situation, or take us away from something better they knew was coming. God does this too. He will not give us all that we want because He loves us. Though it hurts at the time, we accept it and we move on. Things get a little messier when God's answer doesn't feel like "no", but maybe "not yet". The "not yet" limbo is messy for a handful of reasons: 1. Maybe you're wrong - maybe it is a no. 2. But you don't want to be wrong, so maybe hold on to hope? 3. Your heart is broken, you long for closure, but there is none....yet. I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about timing. Timing for things in my life and timing for others. I've spent a lot of time praying for direction, and praying God will change His mind. Though I firmly believe that our prayers matter to God, and He is open to what we want and longs to give us good gifts because He loves us (Matthew 7:7), ultimately His plan will prevail (Proverbs 19:21). His plan is full of good gifts (Jeremiah 29:11), all given in perfect timing (Ecclesiastes 3:1). These are truths, but they are hard to swallow. They are hard to swallow when we think we know best. They are hard to accept when our hearts long for something deeply, when we pray for it, when we prepare our hearts to receive it and it doesn't come. They are hard to grasp when you were so sure it was what the Lord wanted, but now you are second guessing yourself because it isn't working out the way you wanted it to. It is hard to accept when God says "no," and it is harder to accept when the "no" does not feel firm. When you're praying and crying out "God, I thought this is what you wanted." When you respond to God's call and yet there is no reward. When you know God has nudged you to do something, to say something, to go somewhere, but it only brings you to heartache. When you have listened to God and bravely responded but the outcome is not what you expected. That's where the "not yet" comes in. God says no when things are wrong for us, but He does not lead us to things that are wrong for us. When he guides us to a season in life, it is for our good even if it doesn't feel good. The problem is, though, the good He has for us may not be the good we wanted. Maybe God was teaching you to be brave? Maybe God was teaching you to hear His voice and trust Him? Maybe He has brought you to a season of full dependence, or a season where you learn to let go, or a season where you learn His plan is always greater? Or maybe, just maybe, the good gift you wanted is coming.... just not yet. So what do we do when we feel the "not yet" but we are living the "no"? Since we cannot read God's mind or see the future, I think we need to live as if the answer is no. But I think we need to do so prayerfully. What do we do when we feel the "not yet" but we are living the "no"? It's good to hope. It's necessary to believe in what you pray for. But it is also vital to surrender. I recently wrote on the courage it takes to wait, but here I want to bring up the courage it takes to let go. Letting go is hard when you were sure you were on the right path. Letting go is hard when your heart was set on something. Letting go is hard when you don't understand why you were brought there in the first place. Letting go is hard.... when you don't want to; when you think maybe you shouldn't. Hope in your heart, but surrender your life. We cannot live our days missing out on what God has brought us at this time because we are waiting for what He may bring us in the future. We can stay open to the gift we wanted, but we have to also stay open to the gift looking differently than we thought it would. Pray for what you want. Pray for guidance and clarity and strength. Pray for God to act. But live in what He has brought you to. Pray for the balance to ask God for what you want, but to accept if now is not the right time, and to accept if it will never be the right time. We can't see the future. We can't know what is going to happen. We only know what is happening. And we know we have a good Father that loves us and wants good things for us - a Father who knows the future because He holds the future. A Father that does not want to break our hearts, but delights in our joy. Be open to the joy coming in a way you weren't expecting. Be open to saying no to what you thought was coming so that you can be ready to say yes to what actually is. Through it all, daily dependence, daily prayer, daily obedience. When we show up ready to listen to God, He speaks. It takes strength to wait, strength to let go, and wisdom to know which to do - pray for this wisdom, and pray for the courage to respond the way God has called, knowing that His plan is perfect, and His timing is perfect, and His love is perfect.
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AuthorHello! I'm Becca -humanitarian, caffeine addict, lover of books, people, and all things Jesus. You can find me in my pajamas, day dreaming about rainy days and saving the world. Archives
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